Friday, August 5, 2011

where's my iPad?

Earlier today I was standing in my bedroom, slightly bent at the waist, hopping from foot to foot because I really had to go pee but was determined to locate a web site password first.  Logic finally took over and said "Hey, take your password book with you and go pee or be prepared to shampoo the carpet."  Picture slap to the head and relief of getting to the toilet in time.   Once seated I continued flipping thru pages in the book looking for the password.  My great-nephew's cat wandered into the bathroom, I looked up and our eyes met.

What do our animals think of our bathroom habits?  How many of us have a full reading library next to the toilet?  Do you use your laptop or iPad while on the throne?  When you're trying to make high score or to the next level on a handheld gaming device, do you just walk on into the bathroom and drop trousers?  Funny how most of us won't talk to someone on the phone while going pee but we will text.

At any given time, while I'm trying to use the toilet my dog, my neice's pup and g-nephew's cat will be jostling for position and demanding attention.  The bathroom is nice sized but believe, it's not big enough for all four of us.  The cat will try to get on my lap.  Not to be outdone the pup will do his best to knock the cat off and take his spot.  In the meantime my dog is head-butting me and complaining.  Finally my dog will chase the pup and cat from the bathroom; the cat usually doubles back. 

This morning as the cat and I stared at each other I got a flash of what he was thinking. "Where the heck is my iPad?"  He has a nice covered for privacy litterbox that's big enough to accommodate an iPad fastened to an inside wall.  He's a cat of the electronic age, much more interested in computers than books or magazines.  Nearly everyday he tries to help me answer email or do research.  I know he's a big fan of Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook.  If he had an iPad in his litterbox we might not see the cat for hours.

If my dog learned how to use the toilet her reading materieal of choice would be the Driver's Manual.  From there she'd move to law books seeking a loophole that would pave the way for her to get a driver's license.  State Farm said they'd insure her - if she had a license.  Her next endevour would be to get a Social Security number, mainly because I won't let her use my debit card and neither Wells Fargo nor Evergreen will issue her a debit / credit card without a SS#.  

I think the pup would watch movies, maybe TVland too.  The latter because I'm not sure if he's discovered Animal Planet yet.  He'd appreciate an iPad loaded with games like Pong.  He's young, he's a terrier; he's got the whole prey-drive thing going.  Now if he were to team up with my dog they'd own their own PetCo franchise. 

For those of you who have pets and a television in your bathroom - stop right now.  The next time you're cheering for your team or engrossed in CSI while seated on the throne, ask yourself "What is my dog / cat think?"  Are they jealous?  Do they use my bathroom when I'm not home?

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