Thursday, February 2, 2012

51 going on 6

Today I had to behave like an adult.  It was difficult.  It requires a different mindset, a somewhat alien one.  In a manner of speaking I sort of liked it, but I don't plan on making a regular habit out of being an adult.

Until recently my life has been geared around taking care of others.  Now I'm learning to focus on taking care of me.  First I had to progress beyond the feeling that I was being selfish.  Believe me, this wasn't easy after years of being told I'm of less importance. 

I think what happened was, when I ran out of demanding people part of my brain shut down.  Basically I went into shock and it took a while to find the reset button.

Chronologically I may be fifty-one yet I feel like I'm five and facing the world for the first time.  There's so much to learn and see and do.  It's bright and exciting and wondrous.  And though everything is so new and fresh I have years of experience to fall back on as a guide for what to do, or not to do. 

I'm learning it's okay to be ambitious and dream big. 

I'm learning it's okay to say this is what I want, and I'm going to get it.

My daily mantra: "The day is what I make of it.  Today is gonna be a great day." 
Pour a cup of coffee and put on a smile.  Most of all remember situations, events, and emotions ebb and flow like the tides.  My plans for the day may not materialize but that doesn't mean failure or lack of progress. 

Questions that do not apply to me: where do you see yourself in five years?  What are your retirement goals?  What are you going to do when you grow up?  The latter assumes everyone must grow up to the questioner's standards. 

I'm smart enough to know goals change.  I'll get bored and move on to something else.  Or a new opportunity will present itself.  Maybe I just have an issue with labels and being pigeon-holed.

Today the interviewer asked what I'm into; I asked how much time she had.  The world is my Disneyland.  The hardest part is having to wait to take the next adventure.  Translate "you must be this tall to go on this ride" into, "you must lay the groundwork, do research and gain experience".  Even hobbies and games require learning. 

So it won't kill me to every once in a while pretend to be an adult.  While the course maybe "second star to the right and straight on till morning" there are plenty of opportunities to visit uncharted realms.

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