Sunday, September 25, 2011

Peanut butter, pickles and twins

We are twins.  We have different biological parents.  We've known each other 36 years.  I am older by 14 months.  There is no mistaking that Kat is a Leo; her heart and personality is as big as a lion's.  Though my sign is Cancer, popular consensus says I'm Gemini perhaps due to my passive/aggressive nature. 

We are twins.  We are both the only female child in our families.  She is the oldest in her's; I'm the youngest in mine.  We were not raised in the same religion.  Kat's dad was an accountant; mine was an engineer.  Her mom taught middle school; mine was an artist.  Differences aside, major aspects of our lives run parallel.  Make no mistake about it - we are twins.

Kat is the Good Twin.  I am the Evil Twin.  How we gained that distinction was my mother's fault.  Undoubtedly it has more to say about my relationship with Mom.  Kat was seen as the good daughter who attended church, social functions and did her parent's proud through volunteer work.  I was the kid who kept to myself, usually stayed quiet but when I did speak up Mom had heart palpatations. 

(When we lived in Longivew WA, Mom and Dad were good friends with a pastor and his wife.  The scene: houseful of guests for brunch, table laden with food and the pastor was asked to say the blessing.  Twice before the prayed ended Dad kneed me in the leg to tell me to quit giggling.  Upon the final amen I hopped up and grabbed dishes from the table carrying them back to the kitchen.  When asked to explain my actions I said, "The church teaches God foresees our needs therefore He gave man the idea for microwaves because simply saying a short grace so the food doesn't get cold is beyond the abilities of Baptist preachers."  In my defence, "grace" lasted a ridiculus forty minutes.  Even the pastor's wife was trying to get him to wrap it up once he cleared the ten minute mark.)

Kat is the Good Twin.  She would not have said such things.  For the record, she would have remained quiet because she was within her father's strike zone.  I was confident Dad would not whack me in front of guests, most particularly the pastor.  I can live with being the Evil Twin.

Experts say that when living or closely working together female's monthly cycles tend to fall into synch.  A few years back Kat had a hystorictomy.  Now she hates me.  Once a month she gets bloating and mood swings coinciding with me starting a period.  Most of the time Kat finds this amusing, in her words "people get to deal with my irratibility but you get the mess.  I think that's fair." 

What's not fair is the months Kat gives into food cravings and then I get sick.  She's a vegitarian and I'm an omnivore.  However there are somethings I will not eat.  There are some food combinations that make me nauseaous just thinking about them on a good day.  Bad enough to be having the period from hell but my twin goes and gives in to a craving.  Oh my gosh I was sick; up all night and worrying poor Holly.  All because my twin ate a peanut butter and dill pickle sandwich! 

Tell me we're not twins.  Peanut butter and dill pickle - there has to be a law against that.  Isn't she lucky I'm not a kid person?  One more sandwich like that I'd be tempted to get pregnant just so Kat had morning sickness.

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